Love is said to be that universal feeling that brings the world together; at least that’s what some people think. Love is often manifested with how we feel towards our partner; whilst for others it is just how they feel towards their family and friends… The truth is that there is no real universal definition of the word, not in a scientific way anyway. This makes it difficult for us to know when we are in love; so let’s define the term before we move any further.
What is love?
Most people will think love as that romantic attachment they have towards their partner. It often involves the idea that two people can become soulmates; being together for the rest of their lives. But as much of a long-term feel as it is, it is also something people can feel in an instant. This is also referred to as ‘love at first sight’; but in all fairness it is more a form of infatuation than being the real deal. After all how can one feel the same for people that have been around them all their life with a person they have only just met? The bottom line is this: how you feel in love will be different to how other people feel it. The one thing we can all agree is that love is a strong feeling that sometimes takes the best of us and can also make us do very silly things.
Example #1 – you keep thinking about them
So you’ve just been on a first date with someone. Maybe you met them through friends, or maybe you met them online using a dating site. You finally got to meet face-to-face for that first date yesterday, and the only thing you can think about since is them. Every time you close your eyes you see their face; you visualise them talking to you. Usually you just think of your life but that person has invaded your thoughts. You might very well be in love, at least in an infatuated sort of way. It is worth noting that at this stage, you are probably building up an idealistic image of that person; making them to be that perfect being. As you get to know them over time, the love you feel will most likely change; for the better or for the worst, but only time will tell.
Example #2 – you keep talking about them
This is a step further, and you won’t always realise you are doing it. Normally when you meet with your friends you sit down and talk about football, video games or music; but since a week the only thing you seem to talk about is that new date of yours. You might not notice you are doing it, but your friends will be quick at pointing it out: there is no secret, you are in love!
Example #3 – you’re ready to compromise your plans
This might not sound like an obvious one, after all we do need to come to some compromise at different stages of our lives. However, most of us have a good idea of where we are headed; we make plans and we like to stick to them. If you really feel love towards your partner, then you will want to meet them half-way with regards to most things. This is why we see people settling down even though they were living a life of debauchery before meeting that new partner. Love gives a new sense of perspective to our lives, and it often makes us take a turn for the better.
Example #4 – for the rest of your life
One big tell that you are in love with someone is if you keep seeing yourself being together for the reminder of your life. If you feel comfortable enough around that person that you want to make it a long-term thing; then you probably are in love. No need for your heart rate to accelerate every time you see your partner, if you trust them on the long-term then it is most likely love that you are feeling.
Some sort of conclusion
So to conclude, real love isn’t just about having an accelerated heart rate and having that fuzzy feeling in our brains; this can easily be caused by infatuation or even lust. Heck you can get that buzz from having some sex with no strings, but love goes beyond that. Real love is all about trust and it will make you want to be a better person. Love will change you from being unambitious to looking forwards to a real future. So don’t settle for what the media tells you about love, but instead look at the changes in your behaviour. A man or a woman in love is a changed person; all for the better of course!